Tuesday, 6 November 2012


Afternoon FerryEggers! Now, normally I steer clear of horses of exceedingly great heights but this week I am making an exception. I am on an extremely high horse, jumping on the proverbial bandwagon and partaking in every other cliché involved in putting one’s views across, however unoriginal or unpopular they may be.
Thus, I am putting it out there- Mitt Romney is MENTAL. Now I know I am not an American or have the right to an American Vote, but what I do have the right to is an opinion. “I am a woman, when I think I must speak” says a good mate of mine, Bill Shakespeare. The fact that he wrote that as a comic line is neither here nor there because it still rings true, I can hear the bells ringing right now, or is that just my over-active hysterical female imagination… I don’t know Mitt, you tell me.
It appears that Mitt Romney has inadvertently travelled back in time and not in a cool Marty McFly ‘Back to the Future’ kind of way, but more in a strap you into a corset, bind your feet and feed you to the lions, kind of way.
His views on women’s rights are downright laughable. For example his Republican pal Todd Aikin believes: If you become pregnant through rape then it obviously wasn’t a proper rape because a woman’s body has ways of shutting down in order to prevent pregnancy during an actual rape. I'M SORRY. WHERE ON EARTH IS THE SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE FOR THIS OPINION PRESENTED AS A FACT.

Yes of course my fallopian tubes will instantly knot themselves when in the presence of an unwanted penis, in the same way that Superman will shrivel when presented with Kryptonite. BOLLOCKS. That is I'm afraid, like Superman, a fantasy. The latter created by a genius, the former by an ignorant man with tiny balls. You Mitt Romney. You.
It gets worse. The latest invention from the Red corner, a project of the faith based group Operation Rescue – ‘Truth Trucks’ are a troop of horrific lorries, smattered with pictures of aborted foetus’ all over the sides, to be driven around the country warning the women of America against the physical and moral dangers of abortion.

Forgive me for being obtuse, but if Republican Americans are seriously worried about the welfare of women in 21st Century America, then there really should be a collage of stretched stomach linings rather than foetus’ plastered on these so called ‘Truth Trucks’.  Truthfully, obesity is far more serious a threat to the American population than ever abortion could be.
Yes I may be currently reading Caitlin Moran’s ‘How to be a Woman’ (INCREDIBLE) and yes I may have my strident feminist’s hat on (at a slightly jaunty angle obvs) but these things need to be said. Women have come too far and fought too hard for these reproductive rights TO OUR OWN BODIES to be simply dragged back into the dark ages by a Mormon without a clue.

The election results will be announced tomorrow and I hope for the sake of sanity and progress that the good people of America bring Obama back. Like the Backstreet Boys.
Otherwise things will get drastic and I will personally be forced to march over the pond and unleash the Spice Girls on America… Again… And nobody wants that.

(I secretly really want it.)

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