Sunday, 9 September 2012


Good Morn tout le monde! And a Merry Monday to you all! I stepped out of my house this marvellous morning to discover that some genius (I wish it had been me) had rolled out a red carpet, not in front of a cinema or a theatre as one might presume, but by my bus stop. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, the resting place of the 102 bus was suddenly and unexpectedly adorned with the velvety rouge usually saved for the rich and famous. WHAT A BRILLIANT START TO THE DAY!

This little gem of philanthropic virtuoso got me thinking about all the little things that make one happy. Not happiness in the sort of unattainable, peace of mind -LOOK HOW FULFILLED I AM- kind of way, but the tiny pleasures in life that bubble your insides and flutter your mind.

One thing in particular that I like to do, is on the odd occasion when I venture into banker wanker territory, (mainly for waitressing jobs or typing up minutes for meetings of which I have no interest and in which I have no place) is to stroll past a spectacularly grumpy and serious looking business man in the greyest suit I can find and at the point of no return, look him in the eye and stick out my tongue. Not in a coy coquettish manner. But like a child. Pretending to be a monster. And carry on walking.

I never look back to see what their reaction is, but leave it to my imagination to fashion the look of horror, surprise and possible awe at my facial frivolity.

Another thing that I like to do is congratulate myself in my head after little feats like this with a “THAT’S RIGHT!” or “DAMN STRAIGHT!” and a possible mild air punch. (I just said ‘That’s Right!’ in my head as I reread that paragraph. Somebody stop me. Now.)

Other little things that make me happy include SClub7, watching an old man reading his tube map with a magnifying glass, mixing ketchup and mayonnaise, getting the sleep dust out of my eyes, LAUGHING OUT LOUD, farting on the tube when listening to my IPod (if you can’t hear it they can’t hear it, that’s the rule, right?? RIGHT?!), the occasional rap to myself, dunking biscuits, smiling at strangers, jumping the last step of the escalator, whistling, reading in the bath and finally, having a good poo.

Life's too short not to enjoy a good poo. And on that note, ‘til next week folks!

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