Tuesday, 29 May 2012


Last Sunday I raced for life. And no, before you ask I was not being chased by an angry rhino or a rabid dog. Worse, in fact. I was being chased by a swarm of sweating, potentially menstruating females. And it was one of the best afternoons of my life.

In a sea of pink blancmange and breasts, seven of my dearly beloved girlfriends and I ran 5km for Cancer Research. We did it in 35 minutes... 35 MINUTES I TELL YOU!!! Now for a girl who can ordinarily barely walk up the stairs without forming a mild sweat in her pits/cleave/nether regions, I would say that this is pretty impressive. The fact that I could barely stand at the end of it and that my face was the colour of someone's insides is besides the point.
We raised just over a grand to help beat this shit of a disease and it was totally worth it. And then some. The reason I ran the Race For Life was not to improve my severely lacking fitness or to burn off the burger that I definitely did not have for lunch, but for my Auntie. My wonderful, beautiful, funny Auntie.

My Auntie Valerie has very recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and has just started her chemo. I ran it for her and for all the women in the world who don't think that this disease will touch them and then it does. My Auntie went for her scheduled mammogram when she turned 50 and they found something, so for anyone who is thinking about procrastinating or rescheduling - DON'T. It is not worth it. Life is worth it.

We named our team Vally's Runner Boobs. And run those boobs we did. I bought eight 40GG bras in a horrific shade of pink from Primani and then topped them off with vomit inducing neon leg warmers. Sexy does not even cover it. We were positively OOZING oestrogen.
The atmosphere was incredible. The Spice Girls would have been uber proud of the Girl Power emanating over Hyde Park that Sunday morning and I would be lying if I said I didn't crack out a few lyrics here and there... Ok, so maybe more than a few... Maybe like five... There were supporters everywhere and little did I know that some of my bezzies (Adam, Peter and Gaz of FerryEgg fame) surprised me at the finish line! Luckily I did not trip. For once.

So we did it. Completed the race. Ran for Life. Today's blog is dedicated to my Auntie and all the girls that ran with me: SUZE, ALICE, EMMA, NIKKI, ROSE, BISH AND MARTHA.

WE BLOODY DID IT!!!!!!!! I love you girls and all who sail in you.

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