FERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

This one is going to be short and sweet; I wish I could say like me but I would be lying. I am of an average height and would hate to be considered sweet. Or sour come to think of it. Maybe fizzy? Yes I can deal with fizzy... like a packet of Nerds or a Sherbet Fountain.

I digress. As per usual. So, I have spent the last two weeks of my life partaking in work experience at ELLE magazine. I like to think in the manner of The Devil Wears Prada but my brother quickly assured me that that was not the case and that Ugly Betty was a much more apt title to be comparing myself to. The twat.

As you may have guessed from the sheer volume of blogs/articles/general nonsense that I have been bookfacing and tweeting recently, I have decided to pursue the written word as a career branch. Not that I have given up on acting (I still have my Tena Lady commercial to make for crying out loud!!) but it seems that vowels and consonants and the arrangement of the two is apparently what's tickling my tackle at the moment. So why not see where it takes me?

There is an unspoken feeling in the acting world that if you have a change in career or direction or simply decide to stop acting then you have failed. A look of pity crosses people's faces when you say such things as 'Oh I'm doing a bit of writing at the moment' or 'Actually, I've decided to go into teaching'. And to those faces and that pity I say, 'BOLLOCKS'.

To be in the acting world you have to be so driven and so focused that life often becomes linear, you are solely thinking about where your next job is coming from and how to deflect the question, 'So... what are you up to at the moment?' To be quite frank- it is exhausting. 

Amazing, exhilarating but exhausting.

My friends and I have frequently missed weddings, baptisms and funerals for acting work and something in me is telling me that actually those weddings, those baptisms and those funerals are really what is important in life. I think it is that "growing up" malarkey again, biting me on the arse as per usual.

So I have decided to throw caution to the wind and see what else the world has in store for me. I am hunting down work experience in magazines and newspapers like there is no tomorrow; I'm even in talks with a company about writing a comedy tampon advert. I know. It has got my name written all over it - spelt out in tampons. Applicator ones obviously- for length and dexterity.

(Just to clarify, I sourced this image off the internet. I did not take the time and effort to lay out a blue background and spell out GO GIRL in my own applicator tampons. For once.)

I have been an actress all my life so it feels like cheating on a dearly loved spouse to even consider another career option. But I don't see writing as another career, merely another string to my bow that can only enhance and improve my acting... and let's face it, it needs a lot of improvement. Winking, gurning, corpsing and crying- that's what makes good acting right??! RIGHT?!?!?!

I have no idea what 2013 has in store for me but I intend to go in guns blazing and go wherever my gut (and it will be bigger and stronger because of the Christmas feeding) takes me. Life is there for the trying, so I have decided to try everything: I’m jumping out of a plane, I’m going to Glastonbury and fuck it, I might even try drugs.

(JOKING MUM)

(I’ve done loads already)

(SERIOUSLY JOKING MUM!)

I may have lied when I said this blog was going to be short and sweet. Ah well, the government lies and apparently that’s okay, so I think I should be alright.

I have one last thing to say before I tuck myself up in bed with a camomile tea and Game of Thrones (I’ve always been a sucker for books with maps in the front- I’m a teenage boy stuck in a 26 year old woman’s body) and that is, very simply: 

Ferry Christmas and a Happy New Year. 

Be brave, be bold and be yourself because those who mind won’t matter and those who matter won’t mind.

But more importantly, eat more turkey than is humanly possible and then enjoy a really good Christmas poo.

I know I will.